I'm still very new to this whole motherhood thing, but I have already come to the conclusion this will be the most rewarding/challenging thing I will ever do with my life. I don't consider myself to be hyper-sensitive or super emotional. I have always been steady emotionally, but with my son I have lost all control over my emotions. For example, two weekends ago there was a collegiate baseball tournament that Jamie wanted to go to. We had a few friends in town and even though Drake was only 6 weeks he has always been great out of the house so I thought, WHY NOT!? Well, he was fine during the afternoon game, but by the time the night game rolled around he lost it! There was no consoling him. I had to go to the bathroom at the stadium twice to change him where no one had a pleasant experience. I also tried nursed him twice to calm him down. Nothing worked. At that moment, I lost it with him. I could feel everyone looking at me as if I were the worst mother for even attempting to take my 6 week old to a loud and light filled stadium where people are cheering, there were smells he has never encountered and the amount of music playing must have just shocked his new world. Why could I NOT calm him down? After all, I'm the mom and everyone knows it's the mom's duty to get the screaming kid quiet. Then, I had to make a decision to ruin my friend's weekend by making them leave the only game they drove down to see and only making it to the 5th inning. All I wanted in that moment was to be normal. I wanted to be able to go to a game without worrying how and when I would feed him, if he was going to cry and what my escape route would be if there was a foul ball. So, one of my first big challenges has been to not worry about what everyone else around me is thinking about my parenting skills, but to make sure Drake is ok. I had to understand he was having major sensory overload and there was nothing I could do until I could get him home to some familiarity. He needed his bed! I'm sure this won't be the last public fit...but the first one is over!
On another note, I want to keep track of Drake's progression. And I'm going to try and get better about taking pictures.
So, here we go....
All of us at the Baseball Tournament
Drake being shy!

Katy, welcome to the world of blogging. It can get very addicting. I can definitely relate to your baseball game story. Luke was 3 or 4 months old when one of my friends asked me to go on a walk at the park right down the street. I thought it would be simple enough since Luke loved taking walks, but as soon as I put him in the stroller he just freaked out, crying at the top of his lungs. I don't know why, but it just felt so discouraging for me to have to give up going on that walk. You are thrown into the deep end when you first have a baby, but it gets so much easier, I promise.
ReplyDeleteYa! I am so glad that you decided to start a blog! Stay with it! You will be so glad you did!!! :) He is presh!
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